The tease is over! Here's the cover of the forthcoming Floozy Goes Forth in all its glory!
Friday, November 10, 2023
Saturday, January 23, 2021
Visit different worlds!
🌕 Fantasy 🌙
Bone Sliver
by Debra Chandler
The World is Changing.... Maxwell Edison, agent of The Office of Human Protection is given an assignment. Sent to Tulsa, Oklahoma, he's staking out a spreading rash of anomalous activity unprecedented in the world so far. With agents and civilians dying all around him, it’s up to him to find a way to stop the oncoming paranormal cataclysm that has been engineered by a mysterious shadow organization. In the face of unstoppable magic, can he hold on to his humanity?
by Wendy Blanton
An ancient curse keeps men in fear of dragons, so only women can ride them in Slan—while only men can perform magic. As a necromancer from beyond the edge of the known world threatens invasion, Briant appears—a young man who loves dragons. Wybren Tanwen must decide: Is Briant the dragonborn, the answer to prophecy? Will he save Slan?
Buy on Amazon!
Nova Wave
by Debra Chandler
The Office of Human Protection has come to small-town Oklahoma, but the situation is anything but stable. When agents go missing, Maxwell Edison must investigate. When Max goes missing and a coup is staged from within, everything depends on a woman waking up in a changed world. A woman who has suffered a grievous injury, A woman with no training. Can she possibly save him?
Buy on Amazon!
Rogue Pawn
by Wendy Blanton AKA Elizabeth Joy
Forced from her home, Sieger faced a long road paved with lies and manipulation. Desperate, she did the only thing she could: She turned the tables on her enemies and forged her own fate.
Buy on Amazon!
Sword & Scabbard
by Wendy Blanton
When Nyakas killed his father to protect his wife and son, he wasn't thinking about the consequences. Because Malitor was a Divine Steward, Nyakas had two choices: take Malitor's seat, or defend himself against those who wanted it. Reluctantly, he and Robyn have moved to Mhovan Rosk. He knows that the other Divine Stewards have their own agendas, but it is not until he arrives that he realizes how corrupt the council is. When his advisors discover a hidden prophecy, the solution to the corruption becomes clear, but it may come at a price none of them are able to pay.
Buy on Amazon!
The Dragon's Lady
by Wendy Blanton AKA Elizabeth Joy
A young army officer, heading a team in search of missing CIA agents, is captured by intergalactic slave traders. Her team is sold to a man who is much more than he seems.
Buy on Amazon!
WEATHERED
by Debra Chandler
A shift in the wind. A change in the air. Weather has the power to affect everything around and inside us. What will the next season bring? Will the wind of change bring joy—sadness—or something darker? The pages of this book contain poems and tales that will leave even the most stalwart souls—WEATHERED.
Buy on Amazon!
Nova Wave by Debra Chandler
The Office of Human Protection has come to small-town Oklahoma, but the situation is anything but stable. When agents go missing, Maxwell Edison must investigate. When Max goes missing and a coup is staged from within, everything depends on a woman waking up in a changed world. A woman who has suffered a grievous injury, A woman with no training. Can she possibly save him?
Buy on Amazon!
Rogue Pawn by Wendy Blanton AKA Elizabeth Joy
Forced from her home, Sieger faced a long road paved with lies and manipulation. Desperate, she did the only thing she could: She turned the tables on her enemies and forged her own fate.
Buy on Amazon!
Sword & Scabbard by Wendy Blanton
When Nyakas killed his father to protect his wife and son, he wasn't thinking about the consequences. Because Malitor was a Divine Steward, Nyakas had two choices: take Malitor's seat, or defend himself against those who wanted it. Reluctantly, he and Robyn have moved to Mhovan Rosk. He knows that the other Divine Stewards have their own agendas, but it is not until he arrives that he realizes how corrupt the council is. When his advisors discover a hidden prophecy, the solution to the corruption becomes clear, but it may come at a price none of them are able to pay.
Buy on Amazon!
The Dragon's Lady by Wendy Blanton AKA Elizabeth Joy
A young army officer, heading a team in search of missing CIA agents, is captured by intergalactic slave traders. Her team is sold to a man who is much more than he seems.
Buy on Amazon!
WEATHERED by Debra Chandler
A shift in the wind. A change in the air. Weather has the power to affect everything around and inside us. What will the next season bring? Will the wind of change bring joy—sadness—or something darker? The pages of this book contain poems and tales that will leave even the most stalwart souls—WEATHERED.
Buy on Amazon!
Thursday, May 21, 2020
A Quickening of the Winds
I wrote a column today that I'm quite proud of. Not that I haven't written better ones with more laughs. No, it's because I wrote it when I didn't feel like I could. It's nearly a month overdue so today I planted myself in my chair and told me to write anything as long as I filled up that space. And I did. All the recent stress has taken the wind out of my sails, but today I felt a breeze.
Friday, November 1, 2019
YULE TIDINGS ON SALE NOW!
Yule Tidings, the latest anthology from the writing group Prosateurs, is on sale now. The holiday-themed anthology celebrates Thanksgiving, Christmas, and New Year’s with works of fiction and nonfiction.“Besides making the perfect Christmas gift, Yule Tidings is great for planning your parties and get-togethers, too,” said Kathy Akins, Prosateurs vice president. “We have articles on easy party preparations and, of course, delicious recipes. And the stories, memoirs, essays, and poems will get you into the holiday spirit. It’s the perfect book to curl up with.”
Yule Tidings features works from these authors:
Kathy Akins has won several awards with her poetry, devotionals, and short fiction. Her short stories and poetry have been published in Prosateurs: Tales & Truth, Blackbirds Third Flight, Creations 2015, and Creations 2014. She is a member of Oklahoma Writers Federation, Inc., Society of Children’s Book Writers and Illustrators, and American Christian Fiction Writers. Visit her website at kathyakins.blogspot.com.
Debbie Anderson wrote the suspense novel Friend or Foe in 2018. Its sequel, Predators Among Us, will be published in early 2020. She writes short stories, memoirs, novels, children’s stories, and how-to books. She has been published in Prosateurs: Tales & Truth, Creations 2018, and Creations 2017.
Stephen B. Bagley's latest book is Floozy Comes Back, a collection of humorous essays. He co-wrote Undying, a book of dark poetry. His other books include: Murder by Dewey Decimal, Murder by the Acre, Tales from Bethlehem, Floozy and Other Stories, and Endless. His plays include: Murder at the Witch’s Cottage, Two Writers in the Hands of an Angry God, There’s a Body in the Closet, and Hogwild. His poetry, articles, short stories, and essays have appeared in Prosateurs: Tales & Truth, Writer’s Digest, Blackbirds First Flight, Blackbirds Second Flight, Blackbirds Third Flight, ByLine Magazine, Nautilus Magazine, Pontotoc County Chronicles, Tulsa World’s OKMagazine, Free Star, Dark Prairies & Deep Rivers, the Creations anthologies 2012-2015, and other publications. He is a member of Oklahoma Writers Federation, Inc. Visit his website at StephenBBagley.blogspot.com.
Wendy Blanton wrote Dawn Before the Dark, the first book in a fantasy trilogy, which was published by the Christian fantasy publisher Bear Publications in the fall of 2019. She also co-wrote three fantasy novels, The Dragon’s Lady, Rogue Pawn, and Sword and Scabbard, under the name Elizabeth Joy. Her short stories, articles, and recipes have appeared in Prosateurs: Tales & Truth, Blackbirds First Flight, Blackbirds Second Flight, and Blackbirds Third Flight. She is a member of Realm Makers and Oklahoma Writers Federation, Inc. Visit her website at wendyblanton.com.
Debra E. Chandler’s debut novel, Bone Sliver, was published in 2015, and the sequel, Nova Wave, in 2018. Weathered, a collection of her short works and poems, was also released in 2018. Her short stories, poems, photographs, and articles were also published in Prosateurs: Tales & Truth, Blackbirds Third Flight, The Green Country Guardian, The Sapulpa Herald, and Sapulpa News and Views. She is a member of Oklahoma Writers Federation, Inc. and Oklahoma Bloggers and Influencers. Visit her website at dechandlerwrites.com.
Barbara Shepherd is the 2019 Voice of the Fair Poet, the Poetry Society of Oklahoma’s 2019 Poet Laureate, and recipient of more than 350 writing awards in local, regional, national, and international contests. Her books include: The Potbelly Pig Promise, River Bend, Vittles and Vignettes, and Patchwork Skin. Her writing has also appeared in: State Cops Cooking in the Heartland - More Than We Can Say Grace Over, Candle Flames: PSO’s 70th Anniversary Anthology, Oklahoma Centennial Heritage Collection, Harp Strings, A Centennial Celebration of Oklahoma Stories, travelin’ Music, Elegant Rage, Poetry Is For Everyone, Imagination Turned Loose, Beads On a String–Peace, Joy, and Love, From the Heart of Galaxy, Ain't Gonna Be Treated This Way, and other publications. Visit her website at barbarashepherd.com.
Joanne Verbridge was born in Oakland, California, spending her early life experiences in Northern California. Family brought her to Oklahoma where she enjoys writing memoirs and crafting. She works to inspire her young nieces to take an interest in storytelling and writing. Her memoirs, short stories, and articles have been published in newspapers and Prosateurs: Tales & Truth, Creations 2015, Creations 2014, Creations 2013, and Creations 2012.
Yule Tidings is now available at Amazon, Barnes & Noble, BooksAMillion, Lulu, and other online retailers, and from the Prosateurs members while supplies last. For more information, including book signing dates and locations, visit Prosateurs.blogspot.com.
Thursday, December 27, 2018
Surviving Christmas
So...how ya doin'? You enjoyed/survived/tolerated/rejoiced in/bah humbugged/delighted in Christmas. And you're still here. Good for you. Be proud of you.
If you know anything about me, you know I love Christmas. Yet, like many of you, my Christmases carry loss and sorrow as we mourn those who aren't here with us. I miss my parents so much that it hurts. Not all the time, of course, but sometimes the pain takes my breath away, still so sharp and clear after all these years. And other precious family members and dear friends, all lost now...I remember them, too. Even so, I still rejoice in Christmas. Not because of the gifts or the food or the shopping or the TV specials on PBS, although they are all enjoyable--except the shopping, but that is the price we pay for wanting to give to those we care about.
No, I rejoice in Christmas not for any of those things, but for the hope. The idea that the birth of a small child would cause a ripple in history. A child who would grow up and go forth and preach a message of love and acceptance. He would suffer terribly and he would be killed for his words.
A huge story started then, a story that would change the world and set in motion great times and small things, terrible events and glorious actions. That's the story of Easter: tragedy and terror, loss and sorrow, murder and miracle, redemption and glory.
But on Christmas, we remember the beginning, the trembling fear and overwhelming joy every parent feels when they hold their newborn, the expectation of things to come, that moment when it seems the world pauses in expectation, the first lusty breath and then a baby's first cry rings out in a silent night....
I rejoice in Christmas because it is a reminder of those things. A reminder of hope and how things can change. It's a new beginning. That's what Christmas is for me. I hope it is that for you, too. Whatever you believe, that's what I pray for you.
If you know anything about me, you know I love Christmas. Yet, like many of you, my Christmases carry loss and sorrow as we mourn those who aren't here with us. I miss my parents so much that it hurts. Not all the time, of course, but sometimes the pain takes my breath away, still so sharp and clear after all these years. And other precious family members and dear friends, all lost now...I remember them, too. Even so, I still rejoice in Christmas. Not because of the gifts or the food or the shopping or the TV specials on PBS, although they are all enjoyable--except the shopping, but that is the price we pay for wanting to give to those we care about.
No, I rejoice in Christmas not for any of those things, but for the hope. The idea that the birth of a small child would cause a ripple in history. A child who would grow up and go forth and preach a message of love and acceptance. He would suffer terribly and he would be killed for his words.
A huge story started then, a story that would change the world and set in motion great times and small things, terrible events and glorious actions. That's the story of Easter: tragedy and terror, loss and sorrow, murder and miracle, redemption and glory.
But on Christmas, we remember the beginning, the trembling fear and overwhelming joy every parent feels when they hold their newborn, the expectation of things to come, that moment when it seems the world pauses in expectation, the first lusty breath and then a baby's first cry rings out in a silent night....
I rejoice in Christmas because it is a reminder of those things. A reminder of hope and how things can change. It's a new beginning. That's what Christmas is for me. I hope it is that for you, too. Whatever you believe, that's what I pray for you.
Monday, October 1, 2018
NEW RELEASE FROM MRH
MRH PUBLISHES BOOK FLOOZY COMES BACK
“Stephen’s
first collection of humorous essays, Floozy
and Other Stories, is one of the top books we’ve published and the readers
wanted more,” said Ms. Pru Simmons, MRH associate editor. “Finally, after too
long a wait, we have a new collection of these hilarious stories.”
OKLAHOMA—Many Rivers Harbor announces the
publication of Floozy Comes Back, a
new collection of humorous articles from author Stephen B. Bagley. The book is on sale now at Amazon, Barnes & Noble, BooksAMillion, Lulu, and other
online retailers.
“Stephen’s
first collection of humorous essays, Floozy
and Other Stories, is one of the top books we’ve published and the readers
wanted more,” said Ms. Pru Simmons, MRH associate editor. “Finally, after too
long a wait, we have a new collection of these hilarious stories.”
Simmons
said most of the essays in Floozy Comes
Back had been published in print and online magazines and newsletters and
in various anthologies. “Stephen wrote several new ones just for this book and also
restored a couple of articles previously published in the first Floozy
collection that had been cut by various editors to fit space and theme
requirements.”
“I enjoy
revisiting these essays,” Bagley said. “They’re like old friends. I’m glad to
get to share them again with the readers.”
The book’s contents include: A Tale of Two Goldfish, Spice Boy, Hamlet or Another Four Hours I Won’t Get Back, The Terrible Truth about Women, Tanning My Hide, Congress & Other Monstrous Things, Work in Your Underwear, Taking Aim at Cupid, Needs Something More, Irish Dancing as Performed by Roofers, Pumpkin Pinterest, The Story of the Second Thanksgiving, Getting Lit at Christmas, Much Ado about Carbs, and many other reader favorites.
The book’s contents include: A Tale of Two Goldfish, Spice Boy, Hamlet or Another Four Hours I Won’t Get Back, The Terrible Truth about Women, Tanning My Hide, Congress & Other Monstrous Things, Work in Your Underwear, Taking Aim at Cupid, Needs Something More, Irish Dancing as Performed by Roofers, Pumpkin Pinterest, The Story of the Second Thanksgiving, Getting Lit at Christmas, Much Ado about Carbs, and many other reader favorites.
Floozy Comes Back retails for $16 in trade paperback.
For more information, visit manyriversharbor.blogspot.com.
Stephen B. Bagley co-wrote Undying, a collection of poetry with poet Gail Henderson. He wrote Murder by Dewey Decimal and Murder
by the Acre, both in the Measurements of Murder™
series. His other books include Tales
from Bethlehem, Floozy and Other Stories, and Endless. He wrote the full-length plays Murder at the Witch’s Cottage and Two
Writers in the Hands of an Angry God and
co-wrote Turnabout. He coauthored two one-act plays (“Hogwild” and “There’s a
Body in The Closet”) that were published by Dramatic Publishing Company. His
poetry, articles, short stories, and essays have appeared in Writer’s Digest, Prosateurs: Tales & Truth, Blackbirds First Flight, Blackbirds Second Flight, Blackbirds Third Flight, By-Line Magazine, Nautilus Magazine, Pontotoc County Chronicles, Tulsa World OKMagazine, Your Country Music Magazine, Free Star, Dark Prairies & Deep Rivers, New Journeys & Destinations, the Creations anthologies
2012-2015, various newspapers in Arkansas and Oklahoma, and other print and
online publications. He graduated from Oklahoma State University, Stillwater, Oklahoma,
with a Bachelor of Science in Journalism. He is a member of Oklahoma Writers
Federation, Inc. and a founding member of the writing group Prosateurs. Visit
his website at StephenBBagley.blogspot.com.
ABOUT
MANY RIVERS HARBOR
Many Rivers Harbors, a micropublishing
company based in Oklahoma, is dedicated to helping authors publish and promote
their books. For more information about MRH publications, visit MRH at manyriversharbor.blogspot.com or email
at manyriversharbor@gmail.com.
Friday, September 28, 2018
Teaser: "Up, Up & Away in My Beautiful Semi-Rigid Airship"
I’ve always loved dirigibles, those huge gas-filled flying machines
that naturally would make us think of Congress if they were filled
with hot air, but no, they’re filled with a helium mixture these
days. I remember seeing the Goodyear blimp float over my town once.
As it made its slow, majestic way across the sky, I felt true wonder in
my soul, like the first time I saw Pamela Anderson in a bikini.Even now, some people talk wistfully about days of the passenger airships. They were luxury cruisers and fast enough when compared with other modes of transoceanic transportation. The Hindenburg made it across the Atlantic Ocean in about four days, faster than even Michael Phelps could swim it.
Unfortunately, the Hindenburg disaster on May 6, 1937 put an end to the airship era. It shattered the public’s faith in airship transportation, although statistics showed airships were safer than cheating on your spouse.
Read more in Floozy Comes Back on sale now! Copyright 2018 by Stephen B. Bagley. All rights reserved.
Thursday, September 27, 2018
Teaser: "We Like Big Trucks; We Cannot Lie"
Recently a major American automobile company announced it
was going to stop selling almost all its cars and concentrate
on big trucks. The idea being that fossil fuels will last
FOREVER—or at least until our generation is safely dead and then it’s
not our problem.Not the company’s fault, of course. They’re making what the public wants, and apparently, the public wants vehicles large enough to be seen from orbit.
I myself drive a sensible four-door sedan. I would like a flashy sports car that can go from zero to sixty in a blink, but I am stopped by one) not having enough money to afford one, and two) if I did have one, I would have to butter myself to get inside and it would take the Jaws of Life and the fire department to get me out. I no longer have the body for a low-slung sports car.
Read more in Floozy Comes Back on sale now! Copyright 2018 by Stephen B. Bagley. All rights reserved.
Wednesday, September 26, 2018
Teaser: "The Truth about Trees"
But it’s not plumbing problems that have me riled up about trees this time around. Nor is it their world domination schemes that are aided by the squirrels but opposed by the noble chipmunks. (Oh, Chip and Dale, the terrible price you’ve paid for your selfless bravery!) No, it’s a new complaint: I’m trying to learn how to paint, and trees are hard to do.
Read more in Floozy Comes Back on sale now! Copyright 2018 by Stephen B. Bagley. All rights reserved.
Tuesday, September 25, 2018
Teaser: "Inner Peace or Something Vaguely Like That"
I regarded him doubtfully. He was young and had seemed healthy enough four weeks ago when he replaced my last therapist who had apparently entered a monastery, but he had gone downhill fast. I wonder what was going on in his private life that had caused this change.
“Yoga? You mean that chanting thing where they sacrifice chickens, go into trances, and make zombies?”
Read more in Floozy Comes Back on sale now! Copyright 2018 by Stephen B. Bagley. All rights reserved.
Monday, September 24, 2018
Teaser: "Congress and Other Monstrous Things"
I don’t know how such frightening shows such as The Walking Dead, Fear the Walking Dead, The Talking Dead (a talk show about The Walking Dead), and Dancing with Barely Remembered Stars can pull in the viewer numbers that they do. If people really wanted to watch something horrific, they should watch C-SPAN. If what goes on there doesn’t frighten you, you’re most likely already dead or living in Washington, D.C., a fate well known to be worse than death.
Read more in Floozy Comes Back on sale now! Copyright 2018 by Stephen B. Bagley. All rights reserved.
Saturday, September 22, 2018
Teaser: "Much Ado About Carbs"
Read more in Floozy Comes Back on sale now! Copyright 2018 by Stephen B. Bagley. All rights reserved.
Friday, September 21, 2018
Teaser: "Irish Dancing as Performed by Roofers"
Yes, they do fall off the roof. I actually got to see one of them do that. He rolled off the carport nearly in front of me. Naturally, his fellow workers sprang into immediate action showing their concern.
One of them called, “Hey, you okay?”
The one on the ground said, “(Expletive), yeah.”
And then everyone laughed uproariously, except me, of course, because I had to rush inside to see if my home insurance would cover a liability claim if someone did get hurt while working on my property. I already knew it didn’t cover other people’s pets who wander into large model rockets.
Read more in Floozy Comes Back on sale now! Copyright 2018 by Stephen B. Bagley. All rights reserved.
Thursday, September 20, 2018
Teaser: "I Can Drive 55; I Don't Wanna"
Okay, I can understand running out of blinker fluid. It happens.
Apparently. Let’s not get up on our high horse about that. After
all, when was the last time you had your car’s blinker fluid
level checked?
But this whole I-don’t-see-the-stop-sign-so-it-doesn’t-exist thing, that’s odd. I don’t understand it. Toddlers believe something similar; that’s why peek-a-boo is such a hit with them. You disappear for a moment, and then you miraculously reappear. You’re the most amazing person they’ve met in their short life! Of course, that feeling doesn’t last, and by the time your toddler has grown into a teenager, you’re quite possibly the dumbest parent who has ever walked the earth and only put here to “totally” embarrass her/him. Which you should do at each and every opportunity. It’s your duty.
Read more in Floozy Comes Back on sale now! Copyright 2018 by Stephen B. Bagley. All rights reserved.
Wednesday, September 19, 2018
Teaser: "The Burden of Beauty"
I just had a sudden insight that I’m sure may have escaped your attention.
Well, don’t feel bad. After all, I’m a genius, and you’re
not. But you have a sweet spirit and will probably be spared when
I crush the thrones of this earth under my booted heel. But that’s not a
promise. Stop being so needy.
Anyway, my insight was about The Burden of Beauty. The capitals on The Burden of Beauty should clue you in that this will be our topic. Or really my topic. I’m writing, and you’re reading. It’s good to keep those roles straight. Yes, it’s true that beautiful people get the best jobs, make the most money, get better care in emergency rooms and hospitals, receive more respect from their peers and loved ones, and live longer. These statements are all supported by real statistics, not ones I made up.
Read more in Floozy Comes Back on sale now! Copyright 2018 by Stephen B. Bagley. All rights reserved.
Tuesday, September 18, 2018
Teaser: "Needs Something More"
This morning I got up at five and thought I’d watch the sunrise. As I watched the scarlet fingers of dawn stretch across the majestic vault of the sky, I thought, Hmm, it could do with a bit of dramatic music and maybe a car chase or two. By sharing that, you might think I’m blind to the wonders of nature. Not true. I just feel nature is better behind a TV screen, door, picture window, wall, moat, 20-foot-tall electrified fence with guard posts every 30 feet...because nature frankly never saw a human that it didn’t want to bend, fold, perforate, or eat.Yes, I know, Disney has made you think that nature is filled with lovable bunnies, cute ducks, and adorable deer. Did you know that deer cost us over 4 billion dollars in property damage and medical bills each year by their habit of jumping in front of moving cars in their imitation of trainspotting? And the number of people shot by bunnies with guns stagger the imagination! Truly, it would. I can’t even discuss the fowl things ducks do.
Read more in Floozy Comes Back on sale now! Copyright 2018 by Stephen B. Bagley. All rights reserved.
Monday, September 17, 2018
Teaser: "That Buzzing Sound You Hear"
Yes, I know that supposedly they lay eggs that somehow survive the winter’s cold, and those eggs hatch into larvae, which grow up to suck blood and lay more eggs to survive the winter, but I don’t believe it. Have you ever seen a mosquito nest? Me, neither. What really happens is they follow the sun to torment South Americans. Mosquitoes live many years, and all of them speak fondly of me, their Promised Land of white, soft skin that conceals the most delicious and nourishing liquid.
Read more in Floozy Comes Back on sale now! Copyright 2018 by Stephen B. Bagley. All rights reserved.
Saturday, September 15, 2018
Teaser: "Taking Aim at Cupid"
Ordinarily in February, I make a few disparaging remarks about
Valentine’s Day, or “Passover” as I call it in my house, but
never within earshot of any of my Jewish friends as they do
get the joke, but they don’t think it’s funny, and I hate it when they go
all Samson on me.
But this year, I’ve decided to direct our attention to that clothing challenged archer who wings around shooting people with arrows to make them fall in love with people guaranteed to ruin their lives. I don’t understand Cupid.
Oh sure, I get the metaphor that love is like a sharp weapon that pierces your spleen and makes you hemorrhage to death while your lover runs off with your best friend, but beyond the obvious, what’s up with him?
Read more in Floozy Comes Back on sale now! Copyright 2018 by Stephen B. Bagley. All rights reserved.
Friday, September 14, 2018
Teaser: "A Tale of Two Goldfish"
I bought another fish recently to keep Churchill, my fancy goldfish,
company. It’s a fantail goldfish, and its name is Bo. The other fish
at the store had apparently heard of me. While my back was
turned, I quite clearly heard the phrase “aquarium of death” bubbled
around. I ignored them.
As I checked out, the clerk leaned close to me and asked, “Do they fry up good?” Apparently, she thought I had been buying so many goldfish because I was dipping them in batter and serving them with chips on the side. I didn’t reply, just smiled and shook my head, even though everyone knows you can’t fry goldfish. (You have to bake them in a low-temperature oven—or so I’ve heard.)
Read more in Floozy Comes Back on sale now! Copyright 2018 by Stephen B. Bagley. All rights reserved.
Thursday, September 13, 2018
Teaser: "What Did You Say?"
I’ve been accused of not paying attention more than once in my life. By teachers, parents, siblings, girlfriends, friends who are girls, just plain friends, fellow employees, teammates, etc., and who say I’m the poster child for Adult Attention Deficit Syndrome. I think it’s time to explain this once and for all—if I’m not paying attention, it’s because you’re not being interesting. If you’d step up your game, I’d be with you more.Read more in Floozy Comes Back on sale now! Copyright 2018 by Stephen B. Bagley. All rights reserved.
Wednesday, September 12, 2018
Teaser: "My Fitness Goal—and, Yes, I DO Have One"
Read more in Floozy Comes Back on sale now! Copyright 2018 by Stephen B. Bagley. All rights reserved.
Monday, September 10, 2018
Teaser: "'Hamlet' or Another Four Hours I Won't Get Back"
You all know Hamlet by William Shakespeare is one of the greatest plays ever written. If you didn’t know, now you do, and you can go to bed knowing you learned one thing today.You may be surprised to also learn I am not a fan of the play. Oh, I recognize the genius of it, and it has one of the most famous and moving soliloquies ever written (To be or not to be...) but frankly it doesn’t have a role for Dolly Parton, and I don’t like plays that preclude the chance of casting her.
Read more in Floozy Comes Back on sale now! Copyright 2018 by Stephen B. Bagley. All rights reserved.
Saturday, September 8, 2018
Teaser: "Je ne parle pas Français!"
I keep trying to learn French even though it’s obvious I will never master it with enough expertise to not horrify a Frenchman. I once had dinner in a French restaurant in Tulsa and attempted to impress the waiter with my French. With an expression on his face like he had a severe case of constipation, he attempted to repeat my order to me in bad English while I attempted to correct him in bad French. I would have gone hungry except the menu had pictures on it, so I was able to point at items and received excellent food. I’m not sure what it was, but it used a lot of garlic, cream, and butter, and how could you go wrong with that?I don’t even know why I want to learn French. I have no particular desire to travel to France, although it seems lovely and they did give us the Statue of Liberty, which is much nicer than a gift card but not as easy to carry.
Read more in Floozy Comes Back available now! Copyright 2018 by Stephen B. Bagley. All rights reserved.
Buy at Amazon
Friday, September 7, 2018
Teaser: "The Jonesmyth Expedition"
T’was a cold day in late December in fair London town in the meeting room of the Literary Works Explorers Club in the year 20— when Sir Neil “Nellybelly” Shanksview made a most audacious proposal: to mount an expedition of brave men to read the entire ‘Patient Protection and Affordable Care Act’ of the somewhat United Colonies of the Americas.“By Finnigan’s foot, it’s not possible!” Brigadier Frogsworth “Froggy” Speartoad exclaimed and spilled his whiskey and goat milk.
“Compose yourself, Frog,” the forthright and handsome Lord Thomas “Pigsworth” Jonesmyth said calmly. “With the proper equipment and planning, such an expedition could be done in...let me think...in—”
“Eighty days!” interjected the youthful Martin “Martin” Cowpert.
Read more in Floozy Comes Back available now! Copyright 2018 by Stephen B. Bagley. All rights reserved.
Buy at Amazon
Thursday, September 6, 2018
Teaser: "To a Fault"
Whenever something terrible happens, you should always ask yourself, “Is Stephen okay?” If so, then it’s not that terrible. At least not for me, and I’m sure we all agree that’s what’s really important. Naturally, I’m concerned about you, too, and will do anything to help you—as long as I’m not greatly inconvenienced or busy or my favorite shows aren’t on TV. I have to have priorities, which I know you understand because I’m such a high priority for you.To a judgmental person, it might possibly sound like I’m self absorbed, but let’s be honest, if you were as awesome as me—if that were even possible, and frankly, it’s not—you’d be self-absorbed, too. I’m definitely marvelous. People are fascinated by me, particularly doctors who want to study me in a specially controlled environment.
Read more in Floozy Comes Back available now! Copyright 2018 by Stephen B. Bagley. All rights reserved.
Buy at Amazon
Wednesday, September 5, 2018
"The Fine Art of Sighing"
My old computer died. You would have thought I lost a beloved pet by the way I moped around my house for a couple of weeks. During that time, my answer to any question was a sigh of despair with a hint of brave long-suffering and a touch of woe-is-me. It was one of my finest series of sighs.Not that I’m the master of sighing. No, that title belongs to my brother. He can create sighs that are the verbal equivalent of the Mona Lisa. For some unaccountable reason, I am the cause of many of his sighs, and I can tell you they are capable of making strong men weep or at least check to see if the tires of their cars are leaking. His sighs convey the overall theme of “my brother is nuts and why am I burdened with him” with layers of such emotions as “life is a mystery of sadness and joy” and “geese fly south in the winter as the year moves toward its end.”
Read more in Floozy Comes Back available now! Copyright 2018 by Stephen B. Bagley. All rights reserved.
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Tuesday, September 4, 2018
"Attack of the Flying Tapeworm"
She wanted something “tasteful but cheerful.” She found an illustration of those charming but theologically unsound cherubs painted by the Renaissance artist Raphael and decided one of those cute winged angels would permanently fly on her left shoulder. She priced various tattoo artists and located one with the lowest prices. His establishment was clean, and he was courteous and professional.
All in all, an unremarkable event, except she probably should have found an artist who charged more.
Read more in Floozy Comes Back available now. Copyright 2018 by Stephen B. Bagley. All rights reserved.
Monday, September 3, 2018
"Way Too Hot"
However, we’re experiencing a run of hot weather here in Oklahoma that has daunted even me. Going outside and hearing your sweat sizzle can take the spring out of anyone’s step. And if you’re heavy like me, you soon realize that you have enough fat on you to fry yourself if you’re not careful. You would only need to add sides of mashed potatoes and collard greens to make a meal fit for any southern cannibal king.
Read more in Floozy Comes Back available now. Copyright 2018 by Stephen B. Bagley. All rights reserved.
Saturday, September 1, 2018
"Catchy Tune, but Can You Cuss to It?"
I think this means I am officially old and not in tune with modern music. In fact, I’m only a few years away from sitting on my porch and yelling for the neighbor kids to get off my lawn, those young snotfaces with their iPhone this and iPad that. They’re going to be mighty surprised when my iCane impacts their smart-alecky heads. They’ll probably run home crying, “iHurt! iHurt! iHurt!” Whiners. Or more correctly iWhiners.
Read more in Floozy Comes Back available now. Copyright 2018 by Stephen B. Bagley. All rights reserved.
Tuesday, August 14, 2018
Enjoy!
Enjoy this collection of wild and wacky tales, including:
Spice Boy,
A Tale of Two Goldfish,
Tanning My Hide,
Kindle the Barbarian,
The Fine Art of Sighing,
Pumpkin Pinterest,
Mr. Manners Speaks,
Much Ado About Carbs,
Congress & Other Monstrous Things,
Work in Your Underwear,
The Terrible Truth About Women,
and many more in Floozy Comes Back!